Most of us have heard the phrase, “the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife.”
Tension is palpable. You can feel it…see it…touch it. It makes us uncomfortable.
Tension gives us two options. We can retreat and put it off, only to experience the same tension again at a later time. If we continue to retreat from the tension (resistance) eventually we may avoid it all together out of fear and miss out on opportunities.
Our other option is to thoughtfully plow through it and come out on the other side. If we plow through it, we can put an end to the tension in that moment and move forward. Who doesn’t want to move forward? People who are scared. That’s who. I have to admit, in the past, I’ve been more scared than not. Part of the altMBA experience for me has been about embracing the tension and learning to be uncomfortable.
The tension in “selling” a product or an idea, puts the decision into the hands of the “buyer.” Isn’t that what we ultimately want? We’ve given them all the information, all of the whys, and what is it fors. Now we need to be silent and wait. This silence helps create the tension. It gives the “buyer” the space to think. If you fill the silence, they may forget where they were headed in their decision process and you’ll leave without a resolution or a sale.
We are uncomfortable with silence. However there’s something beautiful about silence. Have you ever run out of things to say while on the phone and just sat there in silence with the other person? It happens to my dad and me all the time. We talk regularly on my drive home from work so sometimes we run out of things to talk about. But there’s something about sitting in that silence with him as I finish my drive home. Eventually one of us picks up the conversation or we decide to say goodbye. He may be distracted on the other end, but I’m enjoying the connection that even exists in the silence.
When I was making the decision on whether or not to join this session of altMBA, I had several conversations with my parents about the opportunity. They certainly were not afraid to ask the tough, uncomfortable questions. The toughest of these questions was (and still is), If you’re going to invest in yourself, how are you going to recoup your investment? Silence. On both ends of the call. In my mind I’m thinking, “Damn it, they’re right!” The question made me uncomfortable because they had just poked a legitimate hole in my excitement. Then came the honest answer. “I don’t know yet, but I am going to figure that out.”
They knew that I’ve been looking for change in my career, but they also know that I don’t like to initiate that change when it involves risk to myself. If I took this class, but did nothing with it afterwards, what would be the point? That said, taking this class itself is a risk. I took a leap and time will tell if it pays off.
In my evening chat with 2 of my fellow Ulnas (Alan and Karen), I heard many great examples of using silence to create tension and, eventually, resolution. It was clear that this works. I am looking forward to consciously putting this technique into practice in the days and weeks to come.